Tuesday, May 31, 2016

The battlefield.

Assalamualaikum w.b.t. :)

I have always had a war with my own self.
Created everything that led us to have a fight almost every week. I know, he must have been given up with us many times.
I felt insecure.

In this battlefield of so-called 'love'.
I found myself has always lose to almost everything.
I felt that I have given myself to almost anything.
Dreaming so big that I, most of the time, trapped in it!

Once the door open, it can't be control anymore.
I have gave so much that I don't know how to turn back anymore.
Future that is so uncertain but always been in my prayers, is a good one.
A happy ending for a very long awaited moment.

After so many, many years,
Will I finally found the one?
Whom will be mine someday?
Whom I can rely on to?
Whom I can love tenderly and miss so dearly?

I totally have no idea.
Heart breaks everytime.
And seems like I don't deserve any.
Probably should've not involve myself in this at the first place?

She's so concern that I won't be married if I lose to this one.
After years of 'hiding' to the real world.
Well, frankly, I am too.
No promises that I could gain the trust.
Especially to build up the confidence in love once again.
I doubt it!

The best so far is to just go on with what we have now.
Cherish every moments and always prepare for the worst.

p/s: Am I going to win in this battlefield?

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