Friday, October 7, 2016


Assalamualaikum w.b.t. :)

Continuation from my previous post.
I know it's kinda late. Very late but yeah, still feel the needs to update. For myself.

And so, he's gone finally. Walked away from my my lover.
There's a lot, a lot of reason of why we ended it up after all that we've been through.
Let it be our secret. :)
But it's not because of our parents, of course.
We are sane and matured enough to think which is best for us. Especially for now.

12092016, on Hari Raya Qurban itself, I sacrifice my luckless dream.
It has been a month.
And I am quite redha with what had happened.
My life's now being on track again.
Feel quite peaceful and trust me, less tears accompanying my daysss since then. Alhamdulillah.

At first I was drove by my ego and pushing him away from me.
But I forgot, we've started off as a friend, a very close friend.
He knows me well, we have no secret, we just being quite open to ourselves.
Why should we split it up and be like a stranger again?
I have lost my good friend before for the same reason.
And why should I let go this one? I couldn't  afford to lose both my lover and bestfriend.
We are still a good friend though.
And he's still texting me like we used before - the way we did before we fell to each other.
Awkward for the first few messages, but then, we're getting used of it and things gets better I guess. Hihi. :)


I failed to control my emotions today.
I feel so low.
Totally low.

The messages.
Some things better left unsaid I guess.
It totally broke me down into tears.

Never did once been asked whether am okay.
Not even serious to make me feels like sharing?
The feelings? What have I been through lately?
I couldn't focus to work.
I just wanna run away from everything.
But I controlled myself.
For the sake of their happiness.
Hiding my sorrow. All by myself.
Going to the park, jogged, keep myself busy with work.
Anything could do.
To keep me breathing. To keep me to feel alive.
And when I started to find the way, I was stabbed and it bleeds again. :(

HE knows the best.
HE wouldn't burden us more than we could bear.
I believe, there is more to this.
Every cloud has a silver lining.
HE has planned better for me.
Sabr & Shukr.

p/s: one fine day.

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